


How it started...

by Erika_K



Series: One-shot Collection [9]
Category: Magdalena Eriksson & Pernille Harder, Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erika_K/pseuds/Erika_K
Summary: The title is pretty self explainatory, I think...
Relationships: Magdalena Eriksson/Pernille Harder
Series: One-shot Collection [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569001
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	How it started...

**Author's Note:**

> The story "Spring" that I wrote more than a year ago had them pretty close to getting together in March 2014 already. Since then we have found out that they got together in May 2014 so either we have to assume that they progressed pretty slowly after March or that that story simply happened in another universe.  
> However… Here is my new story! Enjoy! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Either here in the comments or on Tumblr (I’m erika---k over there.)

**Linköping, May 2014**

Doons… Teck... Doons… Teck... Doons…

The regular sound of the ball bouncing off the rebounder and getting kicked by her foot was almost meditative.

Two times with her left foot, two times with her right foot…

The sequence of movement was an automatism her legs did on their own, with her brain hardly actively involved anymore.

Which was a good thing.

Pernille had come in for an extra training session this morning, originally with other plans on what to practice but now she had settled for these routine repetitions, because her mind was occupied with other things. And for once she didn’t even want to focus it back on football...

Magda…!

A smile appeared on her face when she just thought of her.

It had been their day off yesterday. They had met after lunch, cycled through the woods and had a picnic by the lake. In the evening they had returned to the city, bought a pizza and had eaten in the evening sun on a lawn by the river.

Pernille had been so happy - as she always was by now when she was with Magda. A warm fuzzy feeling that filled every fiber of her body and that remained with her even after Magda left. 

Some weeks ago she had still been puzzled that having this especially reliable teammate and extraordinarily witty, intelligent and caring friend made her THIS glad…

But last night she hadn’t been puzzled anymore. She knew...

She had watched Magda while they were eating: Her hair in the evening sun, the colour of her eyes even more beautiful in this light than it was anyway.

She had spent weeks being utterly confused by the fact that aside from just really, really liking her she had also started to pay attention to these and, yeah, well, also a lot of other features of Magda’s body that she had never noticed before...

Or maybe she had noticed them but had just never realized it…? In retrospect she wasn’t really sure anymore.

Anyway, by now the confusion had sufficiently drifted into the background to simply enjoy the feeling she got in Magda’s presence.

She hadn't even been shocked anymore when she had caught herself staring in fascination at Magda's lips when she licked off some crumbs of the pizza with her tongue. 

And neither had she felt embarrassed when her gaze wandered up to Magda’s eyes and she had realized that Magda had caught her staring.

Yes, once she had started to pay attention she had noticed all the signs in Magda’s behaviour, too: her eyes lingering on her for too long sometimes as well, touches and hugs that lasted longer than they had to and that Magda hastily broke when she realised that herself.

At first this had just added to Pernille’s emotional turmoil.

Magda certainly wasn’t actually doing or saying anything, but anyway Pernille knew that she paid attention to every look, every touch as well. And that also Magda at some point must have noticed that things had changed.

God, she had no fucking idea how to deal with this new found realisation herself, she really didn’t need Magda waiting in the wings, wondering if and when she would be ready for the next step… 

But also that hadn’t lasted for long. Once she had accepted what was going on here, she had just been so happy that these feelings might be confusing as hell but apparently they were reciprocated.

Last night when their eyes had met, neither of them had hastily looked away anymore. They had just kept smiling at each other.

Everything had become so easy and comfortable again.

None of them had said anything yet, but they didn’t need to.

There was nothing that would get in their way anymore, so there was no reason to rush anything.

They both knew what they wanted.

And they both knew they would get there at some point.

It was just up to them when they both would be ready. 

Until then they would just enjoy each others’ company, talk, pretend that it was a coincidence when their hands touched constantly and smile at each other like idiots while the river glittered in the sunset.

God, no, she did not at all want to take her mind off last night! She basically didn’t want to think about anything else!

Doons… Teck... Doons… Teck... Plonk… 

The ball missed the rebounder’s net, just hit its frame and bounced off to the side, rolling over the lawn, right to where Pernille had seen a movement from the corner of her eyes that had distracted her from hitting the ball properly.

Magda…!

What was she doing here?

She came jogging across the field towards her, stopped the ball when it reached her.

Their usual training time was in the afternoon and they had not agreed to meet for this extra session, so what...

Magda passed the ball back to her and Pernille trapped it.

“Err… Hi…!” Magda stopped directly in front of her.

“Hi!” Pernille knew the idiot smile had already appeared on her face again when she had just seen Magda from a distance. “You want to join me…?”

Magda shook her head. She looked tensed. 

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t… I went to your house but you weren’t there. I wrote to you but it remained unread, so I figured where else would you be without your phone…?”

Pernille looked over to her phone that was lying with her jacket and drinking bottle at the side of the lawn. She hadn’t paid attention to it for some time.

She looked up at the clock at one of the pillars on the stands.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“Yes… I’m skipping my course…“

Pernille stared at her. “You’re what?”

Magda ignored the question.

“I… errr…” She stepped from one foot to the other.

Pernille frowned at her. “What’s the matter…? Are you alright?”

“Yes… No… I don’t know….” Magda stared over Pernille’s head like there was something immensely interesting in the sky behind her. “I had thought to call you last night already, but then I wasn’t sure, if you maybe had gone to bed already… and then I thought it was better to talk to you in person anyway…” She took a deep breath before she continued. “When you asked me yesterday... At what point I knew…” She stopped.

Pernille needed a moment until she got what she meant.

While they had been walking home last night, pushing their bikes because they both wanted to stall the moment they would reach the corner where they would have to take different directions, Pernille had been pondering...

Magda and her had been close friends for over a year now, they had always talked about everything, shared thoughts, ideas and insecurities. And even if their feelings might have gotten a new dimension now, that part of their relationship was still there as well. So, when you were dealing with something, didn’t it always help to talk to someone who might have gone through the same before? 

She had screwed up her courage and asked: “When did you know…?”

She had looked at Magda and realised that her mind might be circling around this constantly right now, but for Magda the fact that she liked girls had been a given reality for years, so for her this question obviously was pretty out of context. She had hesitated but now she had started the topic so there was really no point in backing down. “That you like girls, I mean...”

Magda had looked at her taken off guard for a second before a grin spread over her face. “Why might you want to know that…?”, she had asked with a raised eyebrow.

Pernille had shrugged her shoulders. “No reason… Just... wondering…”

Magda had looked at her with a mixture of conspiracy and amusement.

Pernille had held her gaze. Yes, she was aware that they both knew why she was asking this now…

“I’m not really sure…” Magda had finally answered slowly. “I remember all of my friends going on about boys at some point, falling in love ...and I just expected that to happen to me too sooner or later. Because that’s what you expect, don’t you? But somehow it didn't. Until I realised it had happened several times already… Just not with boys…

I was… I don’t know… Fourteen maybe, when it really sank in...”

She had looked at Pernille again. "So…? Just a conversational question out of interest…?!" She had grinned at Pernille, when she didn’t answer. "Sure… Of course..."

Now Magda was standing in front of her, taking a deep breath again before she continued talking. "I… I shouldn't have been teasing you for asking that question! I… I mean, I obviously knew why you actually brought that up… And right because I have been there myself…” Magda hesitated. “Oh, fuck it… We both know what we’re talking about anyway, don’t we…? And I really… I know how fucking overwhelming it is… And I wanted so much to ease the way for you and instead I made fun of you!”

Pernille felt a warmth rise from her heart.

It had taken her some time to understand that just as much as she had to deal with the fact that this was all very new to her, it added another dimension for Magda as well.

There had been so many little moments in recent weeks when she had seen Magda hesitate, carefully navigating between encouraging Pernille in her self realization and not pressuring her into anything she wasn't ready for.

Since she had met Magda she had admired her silent confidence, but these little moments of insecurity made Magda even more adorable, revealing so plainly how much Magda cared for her and how much she wanted to make sure she did the right thing to help her through this.

Pernille shook her head. “No! You were great! Through all these weeks you were so great!” She hesitated for a second. But now it was on the table anyway… So what the hell…

“I mean… I absolutely got why you were laughing last night… It WAS ridiculously dumb, that I seriously thought… That I expected you to think that I was just asking out of... theoretical curiosity… I think, basically... I simply wanted to tell you… without… telling you...”

Magda smiled at her. “I got that!” After some hesitation she continued “I… I want you to know…. That I’m so happy about... this… But… sometimes I just don’t know how to handle it, because I don’t know where you’re at?! I’m here… when you’re ready… Or if you just want to talk… Or we can also just forget the topic, if you still need time to process it alone… I…”

“I don’t need time!” Pernille interrupted her hastily. “I mean I need time to process how the fuck I missed this the previous 21 years! But… Concerning you… us… I don’t need to think about anything anymore! I know… what I feel for you… and that I want… to be with you…”

They looked at each other. Reluctantly Magda took Pernille’s hand. Even though there were no real coherent thoughts in her head right now Pernille got that Magda once again wanted her to decide what she was ready for.

And, oh, how fucking ready she was! And if Magda needed her to show her that, she would!

She almost hastily closed the distance between them and put her lips on Magda’s. 

And they kissed. Slowly, carefully.

God, how soft her lips were!

Magda’s tongue carefully touching hers.

A first soft try.

They both slowly retreated, just far enough to look into each other's eyes. 

This look was the permission Magda needed to not hold back anymore. She wrapped her arm around Pernille’s waist, her other hand entangled in Pernille’s hair and she kissed her again.

Since Pernille had allowed herself to acknowledge her feelings to herself she had wondered what it would feel like but none of her daydreams could have prepared her for this.

The rest of the world just disappeared.

All of their longing, all the relief after weeks of insecurities ended up in this kiss.

If Pernille had ever wondered if there was anything Magda wasn't good at… Kissing wasn't it...

At some point they let go. Their foreheads and noses still touching, still as close together as possible. Giggling and smiling, because it finally, finally happened.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this!” Magda whispered.

Pernille smiled. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t know if you… if you were ready… Even though... Maybe I was just telling that to myself…” She pulled Pernille into a tight embrace. “All this time I was so eager not to rush you and then you were the one who actually brought it up and I got so nervous that I just made a stupid joke…”

Pernille smiled at her and they kissed again.

Through the daze that was shielding them from the rest of the world Pernille picked up a movement at the other side of the field. They hastily broke away from each other. 

Their kit manager waved at them. “Hi girls!”

They had been sufficiently far away that this could have looked like a normal hug between friends. They looked at each other conspiratorially while he was getting closer, agreeing without words that this definitely still was too new to share it already.

When he reached them they exchanged a few words. Yes, the game next weekend… and so on… Neither Magda nor Pernille were up for smalltalk right now. He seemed puzzled that they were this short-spoken but he soon left them again to tidy up some stuff in the club rooms.

They looked after him when he walked away and started to giggle when he got out of hearing distance, not so much with embarrassment of almost getting caught but still overwhelmed and happy from what just happened.

Magda pulled Pernille into a hug again. Pernille felt the skin of Magda’s neck at her cheek. Her hair tickling her nose. They had hugged each other so often. And for a while now they had known that they both enjoyed the closeness more than two friends normally would. But anyway this was different. Knowing that it was acknowledged between them now. When Pernille lifted her face from Magda’s neck and her lips closely passed by Magda’s, almost automatically a warning popped up in her head: Caution! Don’t accidentally kiss her! But she could abolish that thought immediately. Because now she could kiss her! And she did! Not even accidentally but with full intention!

“If we don’t want to immediately be the number one topic of the club gossip, we should really get away from here!” Magda whispered against Pernille’s lips. Pernille giggled again and nodded. Yes, the middle of a football field certainly wasn’t the most discreet place to be right now...

They decided to have lunch at Pernille’s place before they would return for training in the afternoon.

They had prepared and eaten lunch together a thousand times before and during much of that time they had already been aware that things between them had started to change, so basically not so much should be different now, should it? But, oh, it was!

They were both so happy… happy, excited and a little nervous. Silly and giggly… to cover up the nervousness. 

This was so new. How did they act around each other now? With all the time they had already spent together they had developed a routine between indicating each other where they might want this to be going but still leaving a little shred of room for the other to draw back... just in case… 

But now...

When their eyes met, while they were cycling to Pernille’s place they just kept smiling at each other, both of them knowing absolutely for sure now that it certainly hadn’t just been a coincidence that they had happened to look at each other.

It took an angry bike bell of a cyclist coming towards her to make Pernille aware that there were still other reasons why she shouldn’t keep her eyes glued at Magda all the time... At least as long as she also had to pay attention to stay in her bike lane...

When they locked their bikes in the courtyard behind Pernille’s house, crouching on either side of a bike stand, their eyes met again through the spokes of their wheels.

And now Pernille really saw no reason to occupy any cell in her brain with anything else but just how happy she was! 

Both of them holding their keys and their half open bike locks in their hands just smiling at each other like idiots because none of them had any brain capacity left to continue even the routine movements of locking a bike.

In the end Pernille’s brain even seemed to lack the capacity to hold her bike lock in her hand properly. The rumble when it fell to the asphalt took them back to reality.

They giggled about Pernille’s clumsiness and even though Pernille hadn’t thought she could feel even happier, she did when she saw Magda laughing, looking just as ecstatically happy as she felt herself and it was so wonderful to know that she herself was the reason for that happiness.

When Pernille was unlocking the door of her apartment Magda’s hand ended up on the small of her back. Also that had happened often enough in recent weeks, gradually transitioning from a seemingly casual contact to Magda’s hand lingering there for increasingly longer times when Pernille smiled at her, acknowledging just how much she enjoyed that touch.

But now Pernille could turn around into Magda’s arm and close the distance between them and Magda’s hand could move from her back to her waist and it turned into a real hug which turned into a kiss.

Yes, this was what she could do now! All the moments when in recent weeks she had looked at Magda and an idea had creeped into her head of what she would like to do… She could do that now!

When Magda was standing at the stove, stirring in a pot, Pernille watched mesmerised how her hair was shimmering in the sunlight that was shining in through the kitchen window.

She would have been just as mesmerized yesterday as well, but today she could take the three steps it took to get close to her and let her hand glide through her hair and feel that it was just as soft under her fingers as she had always imagined it would be. And Magda let go of the spoon and stopped the steering to hug her and they kissed again, because that was what they did now!

There was no nervousness, no insecurity or hesitation in this anymore, just the urgent need to disclose all the feelings that they had accumulated for weeks and right now they did that by kissing each other until they had to come up for air.

They were standing in the kitchen, still hugging, holding each other, just focusing on how good it felt to be this close.

“Last night I thought that I had fucked it up, before it even started”, Magda whispered at Pernille’s ear. “And now we’re here!” 

Pernille smiled at her shoulder. “Did you really think that even if I would have taken your comment the wrong way, I would be so angry that I wouldn’t like you anymore?”

“I was pretty sure that I would have a chance with an apology, but I wanted to make sure as soon as possible…”

“So you skipped school…” Pernille shook her head. “I still can’t believe it!”

“It was fucking important to me! There was a lot at stake!”

They ate lunch, their feet constantly finding each other under the table. If you couldn’t hold hands because you had to hold a fork you had to find other ways to keep the contact...

They finished the conversation they could have had last night if Magda hadn’t gotten cold feet.

Pernille knew the basics of Magda’s story of course. It had come up in their months of friendship, like other experiences from their childhood and time in school had as well.

But of course there were more details to add now after they knew they talked about an experience they both shared now.

Pernille could add her version now: When she had realised how much she had been missing Magda when she was in Stockholm for some days to see her family. How Magda had constantly lingered in all of her thoughts while she was gone and how it had hit her like a rock, when she had realised that that certainly wasn’t the normal way of missing a friend.

“So… I was… the first?” Magda asked. “You had no idea before?”

Pernille shook her head. “At least not consciously… That’s what I meant that I still have to find out how the hell I missed this the previous 21 years… I assume I just didn’t notice it.”

“It’s odd, isn’t it?” Magda said. “Even though you know that there is nothing wrong with liking girls, even though no one in your surroundings will have an actual problem with it, you still need time to get it. Simply because it’s not what you’re expecting.”

“Even though…” Pernille grinned at Magda. “If you actually were the first that wouldn’t be such a surprise either, would it? I mean... Just look at you…!” She let her eyes blatantly wonder over Magda’s body.

“Ts…” Magda shook her head, pretending to be embarrassed by that comment but the badly concealed smug expression on her face told another story.

It was amazing how long cleaning the table and washing up could take when you had to interrupt constantly to play with each other’s hands, to hug, cuddle and kiss. They almost missed the time when they needed to leave for training.

Pernille stayed with the bikes when they stopped at Magda’s house for Magda to get her training gear. Pernille watched her when she got out of the door again and walked up to her smiling at her. Just looking at her made her so happy. Even if she just walked along the sidewalk, a training bag over her shoulder… Pernille could hardly take her eyes off her. She and Magda were together! That thought had to sink in anew again and again!

On the way Magda reached out her hand and Pernille took it and they cycled hand in hand for some meters before they had to let go to get behind one another again to make room for a cyclist coming towards them.

When Pernille walked from the bike stands to the club house Magda called for her. “Pernille!”

She turned around. She hadn’t realised Magda hadn’t come with her but was still standing by their bikes

She walked back to her. “What is it?”

“How do we… Do we let the others know?”

Pernille hadn’t actually thought about that.

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

“Oh, I think it should be your decision! For me it’s just that we’re together... For you it’s more than that.”

Pernille was surprised by that thought. “Oh, you mean…?” She shook her head. “I don’t feel that’s such a big deal actually.”

Surprisingly that was true. She had struggled with the realization for herself for some time, but now the thought of others getting to know wasn’t even something she considered to be a big step.

But Magda and her... That was another story. It was still so new... No, she certainly didn’t feel any necessity to become the topic of team gossip already or of any teasing teammates getting involved in this yet.

“But that has nothing to do with you being a girl.” She smiled at Magda. “To be honest I really look forward to bragging about you and showing off to people that I scored you! I mean… You’re quite the catch!”

Magda pretended to be embarrassed by the praise again but her smile showed how she secretly enjoyed it.

Considering that it had felt weird to her to even think of a girl like that until recently Pernille was pretty content with herself how natural it felt by now to say something like this... Flirting with a girl in reference to her physical attractiveness…

Even though… This wasn’t just flirting; she really meant it.

They had kept things on “just friends”-level for weeks even though they had already known that they were beyond that, so to stick to that for one more training wasn’t that difficult.

In some way it made it feel even more intimate. When they smiled at each other conspiratorially it felt like they shared a secret no one else knew about.

Pernille lost focus for a second when she dribbled towards Magda and she immediately seized the opportunity to steal the ball from her.

“Hey! What the fuck was that!?”, a teammate in her training team shouted at her but she didn’t mind.

She smiled at herself with the thought that only she and Magda had any idea what she might have gotten distracted by. Noone else knew that she didn’t have to imagine anymore what Magda’s lips felt like on hers, but that by now she knew from own experience.

On the way home they stopped at a supermarket to buy some groceries for dinner. When they walked back to the bike stands, Magda looked at her and smiled. She reached out her hand and Pernille took it.

It felt so new and yet so familiar to feel Magda’s hand in hers. They had held each other's hands before, pretended for it to be a casual contact that happened to drag on. But now this was just what it was, they were holding hands because they wanted to.

They had so often agreed on dinner, cooked together and then settled on the sofa to watch TV together. Tonight for some moments it felt like nothing had changed, but then again, of course it had.

This morning everything had still felt so weird - nice of course, but still so unfamiliar. Tonight they had settled in. The weird was gone. It was still new but by now just comfortable and wonderful.

Their conversations during dinner came back to their realizations and discoveries during the recent months and weeks.

It was such a relief to finally share all this after Pernille had chewed on it alone for so long.

Even though Magda was her best friend it would have been weird to share these thoughts and feelings with her before. She was too much involved in it herself. It would have been impossible to discuss it with her without the fact that Magda was the target of her new found feelings coming up as well.

But now she could.

And she also got to hear Magda’s side of the story…

How she had struggled with distinguishing wishful thinking from real indications that Pernille actually might not be so very straight after all...

How reluctant she still had been, even after she had become pretty sure of what was going on with Pernille, not wanting to put any pressure on her but at the same time making sure she knew that once she was ready Magda was more than prepared to take their relationship to the next level.

After dinner they settled for a TV-show on the sofa.

They had already spent so many hours together like this... And Pernille had so often secretly turned her head and looked at Magda instead of the TV and wondered: What if she just leaned over and kissed her?

Now she didn’t need to wonder anymore. Now she just did it. And Magda leaned into the kiss and put an arm around her shoulder and in the end they both fell over to lie on the sofa, while the TV-show went on in the background, their attention focussing on other things.

At some point Magda grinned at her. “Are you still watching?”

Pernille laughed. “No…”

Magda reached for the remote and switched off the TV.

They had been physically close before, they had cuddled up on bus rides and during evenings watching TV together, but never like this of course.

They kissed again. Long and intense. Yes, this evening was about something else, about kisses and caresses and about getting to know each other in another way.

They could skip all the talk about best friends in school, favourite books, movies or about their families. They already knew all that about each other.

Now they could focus on the things they didn’t know about each other yet.

How awfully ticklish Magda was at her ears for example and how she started to squirm of laughter every time Pernilles fingers ended up there when she let her hands run through her hair.

How Magda’s skin felt under her fingers when she lets her hand wander up her naked arms and carefully along her hips where her T-shirt had happened to slide up

The feeling of Magda’s hands wandering over Pernille’s body as well, lingering here and there, also Magda allowing herself to explore what she had only secretly admired before.

Magda’s hand went up into the back of Pernille’s neck every time she kissed her. Holding her, making her feel grounded and supported, if any of this should get too overwhelming.

God, yes, how could it have taken her so long to realise that her feelings for Magda had this dimension as well?

Pernille’s face cuddled into Magda’s neck, she breathed in her scent and wondered if it was possible to explode from happiness.

They lost track of time. Pernille first took a look at the clock, when they heard the bell from the cathedral in the distance. Midnight… 

Yes, making-out could be an activity that filled a whole evening.

Even in the bliss of their happiness they were still them and they knew they had a full day tomorrow including a training they needed to be fit for…

“It’s really late…” Magda said softly letting her fingers trace through Pernille’s hair.

“Yes…” Pernille retreated enough to look at her.

“Do you… want to stay…?” she asked. “Just to sleep over...” She hastily added. She got embarrassed for a second. “I mean… I just really don’t want you to leave!”

This wouldn’t be the first time Magda stayed over but this certainly just got a new implication.

“I don’t want to leave either!” Magda put her hand to her cheek. “I’d love to sleep over…” She kissed her again, just carefully on the lips. Leave it to Magda to find a way to settle where they were without saying anything. There had been enough novelties for today.

Anyway, when they lay in bed together, after another careful kiss - Pernille with her head at Magda’s shoulder and her arm around her waist - Pernille was very well aware that she felt Magda’s breast at her upper arm through the thin fabric of her night shirt. And even if they had ended up like this accidentally she realized that she absolutely didn’t want to place her arm any differently.

She was just as aware that Magda’s hand on her back had found its way under her shirt and that her thump carefully caressed her bare skin just above the rim of her pants. And certainly Pernille didn’t have any intention to ask her to stop doing that any time soon either.

Both of that in no way a demand for tonight, but a mutual consent that there was more to come before long.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Either here in the comments or on Tumblr (I’m erika---k over there.)


End file.
